So it is official. I just cancelled the only vacational leave for 2009 we had in mind – two nights in Barcelona, and of course the flights will go to waste. Wonderful… 😦 First, it was 4 days and Paris, then, out of reason and responsibility it became 2 days and Barcelona. And now it is nothing and two Vueling flights gone to waste. How great is that? 😦

I could not be happier — I know some ten days ago things looked definitely much better. Well, forget it. It is the past. Things have changed meanwhile. But now it is minus one job for my husband and minus one hope not to drift into debts while biding your time on this holiday isle.

It becomes more and more apparent that you can only survive here if you are willing to do anything to survive. I am not – at least not when I know that I am the only one who is responsible enough not to let things become as they were previously. And I am also kind of fed up to listen to all the new age crap about souls, and light and magic… To me, this is an island like a lot in the Mediterranean, now in crisis times, everyone is just friends with himself and the ones that look for jobs, a future and a new life are the ones that are left behind.

Plus, no one would ever tell you this. This is a hard place, it is harder than any place I know. And it just goes to show that some things are not here for knowing before you leave your life of safety and of comfort behind. Would it have been different, had I known all this before?

Now, I know why the faces look so tired, so mean and so overworked sometimes, so lost in a way.

I am not a pessimist. Never have. But you need to face up to the facts that are there. It is just not possible for us to survive another winter, not in this position… Not with no job prospects, not with any kind of financial stability… We need to pack up and see where we could go from here. It is over.

Hard, sad, but nevertheless true.

Ok, roll on, Gloomy Sunday… :(:(:(