Ok, so this is official. It always takes me about a month to write another blog entry. And it does not seem to be casual in this way. It just happens to my rhythm. Ok, a lot happened in between.

Sophia’s leg got better and we now can go for a swim. But with all the tourists around and the hot weather, I don’t have a lot of intention of spending the day at the beach.

So, it is middle of August now. Another ten weeks of heat I guess. But we are in the middle of the high season.

Finally, my worst ever summer flu is over. It took me more than 4 weeks to get over it. And a cure at antibiotics at the end of it.

I read a lot, just fiction, some books in Catalan, a lot in English, a little in German. Mostly in Catalan until now, but now I am focussing again on literature in English and German. Too bad that my sleep / wake pattern is somehow messed up since I stay up a lot, and in the mornings I need a lot time to wake up. But hey, thank God, it is the school holidays, and it’s still another month to go.

There are a lot of options, but I have made my choice.  Writing professionally is the target I have. I’ve always written, all my life, I co-founded a school newspaper, I was member of a university group of creative writing, I participated in a lot of writing workshops throughout Germany, I did a couple of readings, I even printed my poems in a once-off edition of 30 selfmade copies and sold them to bookshops and to the audience who came to my reading. That was when I was 22. In my late 20’s / early 30’s I did have some stories published in anthologies, but never closed a book deal on my own. Now I am 40. This is what I want to achieve. It struck me that I in between university and now, which is roughly 20 years back, I never got around to pursue this with more force and with more energy. I remember that I entered my short stories in a lot of competitions and contests but never won. I remember that this was somehow very discouraging for me. It really felt bad. It put a grinding halt to all my literary ambitions. That must have been 2004 or so.

I never thought about getting some help through an agent, or seek an editorial that may be interested. Maybe, I did not think much of it. Maybe, I simply did not take myself serious enough. Which is weird, but it may be true.

The past couple of years I was a busy mother of two, and then I moved to Spain 3 and a half years ago. But now, there is not much to keep me away from writing and pursuing my path. I feel that writing is my thing, I feel a bit more mature plus but I feel way more focussed and organised. Let’s see what will happen next.

I need to sit down and write day by day, at least two hours to practise my writing and see how I get on. I need more everyday routine when writing is concerned. Up until now it was very erratic, like poof! I would have an idea and I would jot it down, there, never change it. Now I feel I want to develop an idea and then sit down and clothe this idea with words. So writing has become a more conscious process. Here is a difference.

Plus I need feedback from others.

Right now, I am putting an exposé together. And I am writing new short stories for a collection of short stories.

Step by step, I am moving along. This time around I will muster the endurance and stamina to hold on to this idea and pursue it.

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