It was April 5th, 19 years ago. Probably it was raining. Or it wasn’t. Hell. I don’t know and I couldn’t care less. That day Kurt Cobain, lead Singer of Nirvana, decided to blow his head off. He was full on drugs, pumped up with heroin and diazepam. He was fucked up on drugs. Just got to the age of 27 years. I guess he could not go on anymore.

kurt_cobain

Come as you are,
as you were,
as I want you to be.
As a friend,
as a friend,
as an old enemy.

Take your time,
hurry up,
choice is yours don’t be late.
Take a rest,
as a friend,
as an old memoria,
memoria, memoria, memoria.

Come dowsed in mud,
soaked in bleach,
as I want you to be.
As a trend,
As a friend,
As an old memoria
Memoria, memoria, memoria

~chours~
And I swear
that I don’t have a gun.
No I don’t have a gun.
No I don’t have a gun.

~guitar solo~

…memoria, memoria, memoria, memoria {don’t have a gun}

And I swear
that I don’t have a gun.
No I don’t have a gun.
No I don’t have a gun.
No I don’t have a gun.
No I don’t have a gun.
Memoria, memoria.

Well, he kind of did it very consciously. There was no mistake in using a gun. I guess, with pills they can still pump your stomach and shit. He did not want to go amiss. He wanted to leave the party early. He wanted out. That’s for sure.

Today might actually not be the best day for me to write a blog post like this, but I’ll do it anyway.

I can so understand Kurt. Sometimes, the world seems like a rat-infested place, a place full of idiots, half wits and leeches. People who could not give a shit about you, and only use and abuse you. Right now, I can pretty much relate to him. Maybe, I could back then too.

So, Kurt was high on heroin.

Would it have been better if he had been clean?

I very much doubt it.

If you feel depressed, you see colours in a different manner. You feel things in a different way. They kind of overwhelm you. Drugs may actually help you a little while. They help you suffer the world. When you come down though, reality hits you even harder.

With syringes, and without.

Nirvana – Come as You Are (MTV Unplugged in New York) Live

Life’s a bitch.

With syringes, or without.

Rest in peace, Kurt.

x

Advertisements