Category: heroin


It’s been quite a ride. From my New Year’s Post until today.

Today marks the first eight years in Ibiza. It’s been quite a tough ride, sometimes it wasn’t all skipping through the daisies, but I made it so far.

Now, when I look back on the past twelve months I can only say. It was a whole lot of work, but in the end it was damn well worth it.

So, at the end of November I received my first copies of my newly published book, La nit estesa (Night extended) which is a crime (type film noir in book form with pulp elements) novel which draws on various literary genres. It’s basically a hard-boiled detective story but also some kind of underground novel. It shows you Ibiza from its seedy drug ridden underbelly. Protagonist is one hapless anti-hero fighting his drug addiction.

Cubierta_LNE_final

I’ve been pretty busy in the past few weeks, starting the translation of my book into two languages. So, that’s something that kind of keeps me busy. As well as promoting my book in the Catalan language region, the Balearic Isles, as well as mainland Catalonia.

I also have a very thousands of new ideas for new writings. I finished two different poetry books this year, I compiled a short story selection and began the draft of a new novel. So there are things that can be expected for 2016 or 2017 depending on how fast things go and I get them to move forward.

Before you do your first real publication, you’re completely concerned if people will like your book. Now, if I’m honest, that’s not really a concern for me anymore, it might sound a bit mean or tough, but the truth is, once your book is out, you immediately start to think of new things to write about, about the next step. Well, that’s how it is with me, anyway. The tears, the pain, the sweat and the effort are all in the book. Now I need something new to get my teeth in. Lol ūüėČ

Apart from being busy, I start getting noted which is nice, it’s weird, but it’s nice too. So, I’ve got an¬†interview request and I hope that both interview and the two book launches can be carried out without fail.

At the minute, the whole thing around “La nit estesa” is a whole lot of juggling times, and juggling your other projects, and juggling family and friends. It can be a drag, but let’s face it. There are by far worse things to complain about. So I will shut up now.

I’ve had an extraordinary and truly exciting year 2015. A year of growth. And somehow, I hope this is just the first bit of¬†a rollercoaster ride that please does not stop mid-air or with my head in a¬†spin or some¬†upside down position.

Looking forward to it.

roller_coaster

It was April 5th, 19 years ago. Probably it was raining. Or it wasn’t. Hell. I don’t know and I¬†couldn’t care less. That day Kurt Cobain, lead Singer of Nirvana,¬†decided to blow his head off. He was full on drugs, pumped up with heroin and diazepam. He was fucked up on drugs. Just got to the¬†age of 27 years. I guess he could not go on anymore.

kurt_cobain

Come as you are,
as you were,
as I want you to be.
As a friend,
as a friend,
as an old enemy.

Take your time,
hurry up,
choice is yours don’t be late.
Take a rest,
as a friend,
as an old memoria,
memoria, memoria, memoria.

Come dowsed in mud,
soaked in bleach,
as I want you to be.
As a trend,
As a friend,
As an old memoria
Memoria, memoria, memoria

~chours~
And I swear
that I don’t have a gun.
No I don’t have a gun.
No I don’t have a gun.

~guitar solo~

…memoria, memoria, memoria, memoria {don’t have a gun}

And I swear
that I don’t have a gun.
No I don’t have a gun.
No I don’t have a gun.
No I don’t have a gun.
No I don’t have a gun.
Memoria, memoria.

Well, he kind of did it very consciously. There was no mistake in using a gun. I guess, with pills they can still pump your stomach and shit. He did not want to go amiss. He wanted to leave the party early. He wanted out. That’s for sure.

Today might actually not be the best day for me to write a blog post like this, but I’ll do it anyway.

I can so understand Kurt. Sometimes, the world seems like a rat-infested place, a place full of idiots, half wits and leeches. People who could not give a shit about you, and only use and abuse you. Right now, I can pretty much relate to him. Maybe, I could back then too.

So, Kurt was high on heroin.

Would it have been better if he had been clean?

I very much doubt it.

If you feel depressed, you see colours in a different manner. You feel things in a different way. They kind of overwhelm you. Drugs may actually help you a little while. They help you suffer the world. When you come down though, reality hits you even harder.

With syringes, and without.

Nirvana – Come as You Are (MTV Unplugged in New York) Live

Life’s a bitch.

With syringes, or without.

Rest in peace, Kurt.

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