Tag Archive: 21st century


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Spain’s team “La Roja” played crap yesterday, so they lost. Booh-bloody-hooo! This would certainly not be worth even an arched eyebrow from me but this one is different. In a country where the testosterone filled male pride is shattered in seconds after the final minute of this game, we can all go home quietly and wonder what this is all about. Don’t call me arrogant, but I’m gonna fill in the blanks here. It’s not that I’m an expert here, but still. The whole build up around the football championship in Brazil got me thinking.

Believe me, I’m not a big football fan myself even though I used to play it as a child a lot. But the kind of extremely comercialized version of everything just does not do it for me. But being a good wife ūüėČ I was sitting¬†next to my husband and saw the match.¬†If I’m honest, yes, I was happy¬†seeing Spain got kicked in the arse by the Dutch yesterday. The reason? Just very simple… If Spain had won, we could forget the next coming six weeks or so… Everything would be overshadowed with this huge football halo and all the Neanderthal emotional crap that goes with it. We could forget for the next six weeks¬†what really matters and just sit in front of the TV screen and figure out which one of these sickeningly overpaid footie players will be the star of this championship.

Boy, I am sooo not into that… As much as I like watching fit males doing something that shows off their muscular side and everything, but still… These days, no-one can say that football is just plain football. It’s also some kind of hen picking in some way. Or ok, point taken, a cock fight.

Spain has a lot to do, a lot to deal with these days… But we’re so close to the two months where nothing, but really nothing happens around here… nothing¬†politically, nothing that will hit the newspapers,¬†… and therefore this “failure to perform”¬†in the championship is something I’m pretty happy about. Because it changes the perspective slightly.

Oh, ok… And yes, it was a piece of cake for the Dutch crew cos they are sooooo used to playing on wet ground. But still.

The image shown above basically was just a joke playing on the difference in terms of mínimum wage and unemployment rates of the two countries.

What about the King then? Well the old one was clever enough to take his hat and just leave… while he was still able to conceive the benefit of what he was doing. All his Swiss accounts must be bursting with whitewashed cash, so what’s there to worry about.

– The Catalans want freedom and Independence

– the unemployment rate has never been as high

– Spanish nationalists rear their ugly heads (there’s some whiff of¬†LePenn here)

– Mariano Rajoy is just another hopeless idiot (sigh)… and he’s still around another two years… (sigh, yeah, I know)

– the crisis (even though it’s self created) is still pretty much around

– politicians like Wert and Bauz√† show what types of people advance in the political hierarchy and which ones don’t

–¬†the population is suffering (financially,¬†ideologically)

– there’s a tendency towards riots (Like¬†happened at the end of may in Barcelona)

– people unable to pay off their houses, are jumping to their death. This type of suicide has become (very sadly) quite popular as people¬†are killing themselves because they don’t have a perspective and¬†they¬†don’t know¬†any better

– Felipe (the heir to the throne) is so in tune with the socalled¬†“Old boys’ club” (in this case: PP party, Wert, Rajoy, Bauz√†). They have a lot in common. So, yeah, basically, it’s his turn to earn his spurs.

In all fairness, it was a surprisingly clever thing to do for Juan Carlos, at least, from his point of view. However, what bemuses me is that in the aftermath of this non-news there is the new/old discussion about the necessity of monarchy. One day twitter boiled up but after that, everything was just gone and forgotten. Are Spaniards this quick at forgetting? Come on, guys!

What is the ra√ģson d’√™tre of a King these days?

You know what I’m thinking, don’t you? Yes. There is none whatsoever. Nada. None. Niet. Nil. No.¬†Exactly. Except for wasting money from a currently deeply crisis-ridden and indebted household. That really isn’t the most clever of moves here. So basically, what was a clever to do¬†for the father, is some kind of¬†burden and¬†maybe even some spot on his currently White chest… Felipe starts out bad. This cannot be the pole position to start with.

Even worse when we think about the date they’ve set for the coronation ceremony. Again — a thorn in the side of all Catalans who are bitterly reminded that this was the date when one city was burned to cinders. Alas! Again, bad move here.

Another thing is the criticism that still remains about unsolved cases around the royal family… Urdangarin, Infanta Cristina, and what not… This is a political heritage bundle not too easy to carry around.

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I must say, Felipe would be clever to say no to this Crown. But of course, he won’t. Noblesse oblige…

They say if a door closes, another one opens. Right now I can see where the saying is going but to be quite honest, I don’t really believe it as yet.

Things right now could not be worse from my standpoint. Ok, but this post is not strictly about me but about people who find themselves in a similar situation. It is about the people who will suffer a lot because they frigging have jack shit in their pockets, jack shit to eat, jack shit to spend on their children, jack shit to clothe themselves, and jack shit in order to follow a cultural life.
Apart from the ones who have been made homeless since they could not pay up their rent, apart from the ones who took their own lives in desperation, it is now quite predictable that a huge tidal wave of families or couples is coming who will be stuck in the same situation as me, which eventually looks like this: A family of four. One partner’s got a steady job, earns some cash, not the world, but somehow they get by, the other partner has a more or less steady job but as a seasonal worker (fijo discontinuo, which is not an uncommon scenario at all). For those of you who don’t know what this means, it is a specialty of the Spanish labour law, meaning that you have a seasonal contract for a certain time of the year, while the rest of the year, you will be jobless, simply because there is no need or no necessity to have a worker in this job in the low season. The contract revives after the low season again so you are truly a steady worker.
So, beware. Singles and one parent families can now safely breathe deeply cos they won’t be affected. This time around the families that this law is after, it is actually rather disturbing when you think about it. So, if you are married, it will basically happen like this: The woman (or whoever is the one with the seasonal contract) has completed her six month of seasonal work and applies for the usual state benefits for the upcoming six months where she is on the dole.
Then, the shock arrives. Instead of receiving 426‚ā¨ state benefit, she will know only receive 105‚ā¨ no matter whether the couple have got kids to support, whether they dire need the money just to get by. It does not matter the least.
I informed myself and it seems that if you have a partner who (now listen up, this is really good!) earns more than the so-called ‚Äúintersalario minimo‚ÄĚ (the average minimum wage) of 640‚ā¨ / month, the law applies leaving you with 75% less of your normal state benefit.
So, instead of receiving a total of 2.556‚ā¨ in a six month period (which in my case is to be expected as the island of Ibiza does not tend to have so many jobs to offer in the Winter months) you will receive 630‚ā¨. The almost 2.000‚ā¨ gap is something that a family of four is left to draw conclusions themselves.
That’s pretty, no?

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I would say this is the most horribly unjust law of the 21st century I have ever read about. This is a crime, and I don’t say this not just because I am affected too (which truly fucks me up too, admitted) but the core of this post is that I really envision what is going to happen in terms of the affected families, how will they deal with it, what will happen in Spain, on the peninsula, and also on the Balearic islands, and the Canaries.
It is not too difficult to foresee what will happen. Basically this here.
By taking away the last bit of money, not mentioning the last shreds of their dignity, not mentioning stripping the last bits of social mobility from this group, it basically spells poverty, cruel and not to be hidden poverty, poverty that is no fun at all. Not being able to pay all the necessary monthly bills, having to juggle things where to make another cut, in order to somehow scrape things together and get to the end of the month. Simple as that.
Taking into account that at the same time there has been a growth in nouveau riche people coming to the lively Spanish cities and hip islands, so the nouveau riche is just a stone throw (quite literally, in this case) away. This again heats up the rivalry between rich and poor, between have and have not’s. If Karl Marx were still alive, he would get out his pamphlet about the class battle.

Today, people seem to have forgotten that today’s world shows even stronger and much more cruel signs that there are three if not four classes today.
1) The poor, the unwell, the lower class ‚Äď the ones who are either out of a job, too wasted, too ill or too socially unfit to work. The ones who are denied access to the big ferris wheel.
2) The mixed working and middle class – which slowly but surely seems to disintegrate ‚Äď they either fall back into the group of the poor and unwell or they somehow make it into the group of the well off people. They are also struggling, they can get by, depending how clever they are, trying to work the system here and there. But basically, they are the working force of the new millennium. They hate the class 1 people because they think they are really just scum and don‚Äôt want to work. And they envy the class 3 people for obvious reasons.
3) The upper middle class ‚Äď the well off people ‚Äď they are also working people, at least formerly, but mostly they don‚Äôt really need to work anymore. Somehow, they are able to enjoy life as it is. They are able to lean back and watch what happens around the world. They despise class 1 and they belittle class 2 people. They envy class 4 people for obvious reasons.
4) The stinking rich ‚Äď self explanatory. Of course, they know nothing of the sorrows or the pains that class 1 and 2 or even class 3 people go through. They could essentially make a difference with their wealth, but they don‚Äôt. They are reluctant to activate themselves. They observe and journey from yacht to yacht. Their biggest worry might be the question what to bestow their sons and daughters. Basically, this class is the real trouble. They are the root of all evil. If they understood that the world has come into such a crass imbalance moneywise and also in terms of division of wealth, and therefore if they would let others participate in their immense wealth, the world might be a better place. But, let‚Äôs face it, hey, this isn‚Äôt a fairy tale and I know it won‚Äôt happen.
When it comes to categorizing people, I tend to be quite ruthless, sarcastic to some extent, but I can spot the people in their peer group and make out their characteristics. I used to be middle class, today I can safely say that even though I try to hold on to middle class for dear life, I drifted back into the arena of the poor and unwell and it is only a matter of time but I eventually will stop posting blogs since I might be more than busy with the fight for survival. This is pure social Darwinism.

I know that I will need to somehow generate an extra of 320‚ā¨ out of thin air. My husband works, he cannot get more money. Sinc√© we have been trying to cut down costs, I don’t know where another cut could be made,¬†I don‚Äôt see any job opportunities either, especially not ones which are viable when you have two kids. So, even though economy is down, and the season is ending, I know I need to have an extra job for the winter, which is not going to happen as there are no jobs. So there is no need to worry at all. The poor and unwell are all waiting for me.

Noam Chomsky called it the class warfare. Listen for yourself.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_detailpage&v=9o7yQIMx17s
Back to Spain: Which conclusion can be derived from this? The sacred cow named family has now officially been killed. Or to put it plainly, it has been slaughtered and its entrails hang out its guts.
Had I been divorced or would I be a single mother, this would not have happened to me. Brave new world that has such people in it!
But being a happy mother and not a divorcee or single mom made me conspicuous. I see. Duh! I could have understood it if we were talking Franz Kafka, otherwise this scenario is just too Kafkaesque for me.
Apart from these schizophrenic mind-warping thoughts of some politicians who came up with this ludicrous law, I have other, still darker visions to share.
What about the children? Will I tell them to eat 75% less, to consume 75% less of a needed education, to need 75% less clothes, to give me 75% wear and tear to compensate, to grow 75% less so they can still wear last year’s clothes, take part 75% less in children’s activities which are not for free as we all know??? I don’t think so.
Luckily, you might say, you live in the countryside. Here the differences are not as crass. Yes, that’s what you would think. But they exist nonetheless. And my children have spotted the differences a long time ago. What is going to happen now?
The thing is poverty, seen from the outside might seem like a romantic hideaway, like a safe haven from the crazy world, but the truth is that poverty basically means, that your life is not much fun, and basically it is also going to end sooner and in a fashion you won’t like as much.

Poverty basically means:
РNot having the means to pay for a doctor (and here is to people who plea the national health service in Spain was good: Please spare me the discussion. Don’t come up with national health service and how good it was, I would hate the discussion and you know, NH in Spain is ridiculously bad in some areas, and to some extent, so let’s cut the crap and face up to some realities. I’d rather ram a rusty needle into my arm and do nothing about it than ever let a Spanish NH gynecologist ever touch me again. That was the most traumatic and dehumanizing experience at a doctor’s!!!)
– Not having the money to buy the most sensible food and therefore consequently not able to follow the most equalized and sensible diet. (Even though we know which food is better, sometimes your wallet decides what you buy. Simple as that. Look at the prices in a supermarket, compare what you can buy with 30‚ā¨, and then you will see what I mean. Sugary, fatty, basically all highly processed food is dirt-cheap whereas natural, authentic, sensible and good food is quite costly.)
– Not being able to buy the educational books, toys, you name it that you as a parent wanted to provide for your children (and yes, we are all avid users of a public library, but there are books that are not available, and nothing can substitute a book that belongs to you, etc.)
– Not be as relaxed, nor as well-informed as others as you keep struggling with the mere and naked existence as it is. (this may be a secondary effect, but nonetheless it happens like that)
– Not able to make the cheapest choice since in effect you are forced to buy at a time when others lean back and say, ‚ÄúNo, I will wait until the prices fall, and stabilize at a lower level.‚ÄĚ You, as an impoverished person, are often forced to buy at the highest rate. And yes, it is true. This makes you even poorer. It is a vicious circle.
– This situation leaves you wasted and wane
– Not happy
– Not healthy
Ok, I could continue this list for ages, but even if we suppose that you are still capable of providing yourself with the needed information, still able to cut corners here and there, there is a physical limit to all of this. And the majority of all people affected will ‚Äď and here you can be pretty sure ‚Äď not be as realistic, and not as rigid in what to buy and what not to buy, they will also fall into the typical poverty traps. Therefore, their poverty might even look worse than the one depicted.
But the bottom line is this: poverty cuts you off from the rest of others. Shuts you up.

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Why? They are tiny things really. You will say NO more often and at times where you want to say YES. You will say NO when invited as you don’t have the money to buy a present. And you will also say NO because even though it may just be 25 kilometers, the trip of 50 kilometers just for a party plus a present you need will leave you skinned. So you got to decide. You will say NO because the last time you were invited and this time it would be your turn to invite but you haven’t got the money to invite, so you don’t. Poverty makes you lonely.
It sounds like it was copied out of a Dickens novel, a tale of gruel, and the workhouse, but this is the bare and naked truth.
I wish for some Spanish politicians and businessmen that they may come to experience the full-blown and fucking awful situation like this.
I know there are families which are even worse off than us. There are families where both lost their jobs and so on. But I don’t understand how the state can agree to destroy familiar unity with a law like this. I nudged my husband and asked him if he wanted to divorce me so we would get the full state benefit. It is so ridiculous. The bitter truth is that nobody cares about families anymore, let alone children growing up safely. This is something that makes me angry and sad.
For me, as an adult, things are much easier. I can survive on six months on nothing but the cheapest spaghetti and the blandest yoghurt, and nothing else. I will not be able to pay all my bills, so I will have the odd problem here and there, even though I have a very good consumer’s morale. But what bugs me the most is the crime of stealing a piece of childhood, which they are taking away from our children. The innocence and the feeling of carelessness is somehow lost along the line.
Apart from needing vitamins, proteins, vegetables and fruit, children need the feeling of being protected and well looked after. They need stability. They need laughter and also the safe home which is theirs. They need clothes, new shoes every now and then. It seems so incredible that all of this seems impossible just because the state decided they would rather help out some criminal bankers and some thieving politicians. No wonder that there is no money left to help out families.
How foolish to think in the 21st century that a family is something the state wants to protect by law. How sad to be mistaken in this point.
Ever since I was 15 I have been working. There is a multitude of jobs behind me, not all of them were good ones, but each and every one of them taught me something. And I do remember and also cherish this. When you work, you should go home with a smile on your face. Today, this smile is wiped away. It has been replaced by constant worries of will I have enough to pay my bills. Will I be able to keep up this rat race? With people who are (for whatever reason) on the dole or only part-time workers, things are even worse. You are being looked upon as some kind of underdog. You are an outcast of the system. There is something you’ve done wrong. Something in your personality that did not quite fit in. Oh, you have children. See? Told you so. To have children and to be proud of them is something that our society does not want to hear, much less cares about.
So, basically, I won’t take this lying down and I hope I can keep my dark sense of humor and still make things funny and worthwhile for my children, my husband, and for me, but if truth be said: in spite of being a born optimist, I have most extreme doubts of how we might get through this long, dire drought period, how well we will be able to adapt this time, how to make our way through the winter period. How to spin gold out of thin air.
It is going to be a tough ride.
Not to mention all the burglaries and muggings, which will start happening for sure.
Ibiza is a place for seasonal workers. Most of them leave the island after the season, but some of them live here, so these families will be in deep problems. Just like us. And there is no cloud, and sorry also no silver lining.
On mainland Spain, similar problems will arise with focus on big cities like Barcelona, Valencia and Madrid. I am curious how the crime rates will develop. This should be a fun thing to watch.
Oh, and another thing. It is pretty clear that this law is another red herring, a decoy to take away the force of criticism off Mister Rajoy and his ridiculously incapable leadership. So sad if people cannot just say ‚ÄúI fucked up. I take my hat and leave.‚ÄĚ He does not seem to get the message.

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It is time for a new beginning. And time to shake up the system.

This is just a quick post. I just saw a very awesome video blog post on the outlier collective today on the controversial subject of feminism on the Outlier Collective Blog.

and it got me into thinking why I don’t like the term feminism and why it strikes me as something which is unbalanced, anachronistic or even weird since I don’t like the term but on the other hand, I¬†do think that the movement in itself is still pretty much needed as we have things going on in our society that are not strictly speaking women friendly. And this goes¬†for many, many areas of our lives:

– less wages for same kind of work (some of us are more equal than others)

– not the same kind of emotional / physical / scientific / moral education for boys and girls

– the so-called “glass ceiling” (meaning that women will often not be promoted as men or even be stopped from being promoted at all for the simple fact because they are women)

– the way that boys are still taught to “toughen up” and girls at the same time¬†are being told not to be such “a tomgirl” or are encouraged to¬†yield her own interests and be more caring towards others (Cinderella complex)

– the devaluation of anything that is vaguely¬†“too” feminine and therefore not manly enough: in terms of language: sissy, wimp, pussy, but also in terms of being labelled as worthless. Ergo, the mere depiction of testosterone fuelled macho dreams which have not been full-filled are therefore not to be regarded, so they are being either ignored, made fun of, or they must be eliminated as they are the enemy, well, at least for some blockheads.

– funnily enough: the reverse example should be working the other way around, it should show be the¬†opposite, but ha! wrong again, when in fact, it doesn’t come full circle here: the “as-male-posing” female is also not viewed in a good manner either. She is not a she, she is more a deformed kind of female and therefore also devalued.

There are so many things, that come to mind that it is hard to recount them all. The point is however, as soon as you talk to someone about this fact, they will go “woah, so you are a feminist”. No, actually, I am not. I always said no to this question simply because I don’t like the term and the associations that go with this term. However, I do have the strong feeling that there is still a lot to be desired in terms of what is possible and what isn’t in a male society.

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This might come as a surprise to some readers, but the majority of all women are not ready to give up their career when they have children, and they do want to go on building their career, and they might even have more dreams to accomplish. But the truth is feminist and feminism for the 21st century seems like an anachronism. And we tend to think of women refusing to wear bras,¬†who don’t shave their armpits, wearing baggy clothes,¬†eating macrobiotic food,¬†not using lipstick, and who might in fact turn out to be lesbians (hahaha, good one, isn’t it???), whatever. But why is that? Because we again do the same thing, that Kozo mentioned in his video post, we judge women by the way they look and not by the things they know or by the things they say. It is so damn true. Please watch his video, it is so worth watching.

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We need to open our hearts and our minds to be aware, to get to the point where it becomes clear that we can only have a truly egalitarian society in the sense of women and men being treated equally when people start seeing that a woman is more than her outward appearance and a man is more than this tough guy who is never allowed to shed a tear. We need to view things and people in a more adult, grown up way.

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So, let’s readjust a little. Let’s even out the playfield a little bit. Let’s open up a little by making a small change.

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May we all get to the point where we start healing: the ones who grew up with the toxic “water” around them, the ones who have been victimised. But we all can start¬†to heal, even the ones who are not victimised as they¬†might still¬†advocate a new kind of thinking and promote it.

However, since I would not be me if I would not bring in at least one thing which is a little bit controversial… let’s watch another video and listen to this song.

Like I said earlier on, the joke is still on us. ūüėČ

Maybe we need a female Tim Minchin who would text an equally disconcerting, subversive and amusing song and make fun of men having their male kind of periods and laugh at the nonsense of thinking one gender to be superior to another. Hey, and one thing, sex and gender is not the same thing.

Have a happy and good relation to a man or a woman, to both as a matter of fact, whoever and wherever you are!

Remember:

We are afraid to be vulnerable so we pretend to be someone else. In most cases anyway. And there are few brave ones out there who can strip off the mask and be themselves.

So, I’m with Kozo and I’m with Tim on this one: Kozo said: Start opening your mind and opening your heart and see what happens. Or as Tim said: We are just fucking monkeys in shoes!!! So, loosen up!!!

P.S. By the way, there is a short add-on to my article: Did you know there is a FEMINIST PORN AWARD? Yes, sex industry and feminism is no longer a contradiction in terms. Look it up the blog orbitadiversa.wordpress.com and click on the link in her blog or simply use this one here:

http://www.golfxsconprincipios.com/lamoscacojonera/porno-feminista-1/

Ok, no cuddling this time. No time for that. Straight full sex. Or said in other words:¬†medias in res. I’ve really had it this week. Maybe, it’s the lunar constellation, maybe it’s fate, maybe it’s kismet, karma, call it whatever you like, but I’ve had so many weird experiences and no-go situations¬†this week that I’ve seriously had it when thinking about the time I’m losing due to the negligence and poor behaviour of other people’s behaviour. My pain threshold has been pushed and¬†scraped past¬†or also being¬†plainly¬†crossed many times.

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I won’t go into details because this is personal, but fact is when you can’t keep an appointment for whichever reason (whether you did not like the appointment in the first place, whether you thought otherwise, whether the moon was in a bad constellation for you, maybe your chakra was out of tune, your cat was sick, or you were sick, or the whole idea was sick) it basically does not matter. What matters is you inform people when you are not coming. It is simple as that:¬†this is basic.¬†If on the other hand,¬†you don’t find¬†informing someone who came to see you helpful,¬†so this other person does not know that you have no intention of seeing them,¬†it is common knowledge¬†this is basically¬†downright rude behaviour and, basically, even by today’s low standards absolutely inacceptable unless you willingly want to annoy someone (in which case, bravo, this is way to go). Maybe I am naive, maybe I am still believing in Santa Claus, it does not matter. I basically tend to believe people what they say. This does¬†make me vulnerable, and maybe I am an easy prey too for some people. I can see the downside in this behaviour of mine¬†clearly. So maybe it was about time that I got shaken up a bit to make it clear that this time around, I need to adjust my asshole threshold level a bit… But on second thoughts, I really don’t want that. Yes.¬†I am a sensitive person and I seriously want to stay that way. I don’t want to adjust¬†myself to make myself less sensitive because¬†some other people aren’t sensitive enough.

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Don’t get me wrong. This is not an ego trip.¬†This post is so not about me, this is basically about how society is changing and why I find it difficult dealing with some of its worst outcomes. This is about the way¬†in which so many people have¬†morphed in terms of behaviour. It is so sad. It is seriously breaking my heart. I don’t like what I see.¬†But beware that you don’t criticize this. Otherwise you are the weirdo forever and ever.

I might be a weirdo to some. Still… I am pretty clear on this one. Society is what people consent to make it. In other words, society is the product of all our commonground behaviour. And if this rude, insensitive, and pretty much asshole like behaviour is cementing itself as being acceptable then we don’t need to make any moral claims to the future… That will be a redundancy. This is the 101 of human behaviour. And it is slowly but surely getting lost.

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Everyone who I told this story, basically just shrugged and asked me “what do you want?”… “People are like this today.” No, I am sorry, they are most certainly not like that. I deny the possibility and I also resist the temptation of verifying it. The people I chose to deal with are my circle and in my circle I demand a certain standard, and the most basic understanding to me is that if you cannot make an appointnment, you at least pick up a phone and cancel. This is like the 101 your mum or your dad ought to have told you when you were little. And if not, hey, it’s still time to learn.

I am so sick of this shit. In Ibiza standards do tend to get lowered by the watering down of boundaries, by the mixing of different cultures and different standards.

So, I am going to tell you guys which kind of behaviour is really totally unacceptable:

1) not cancelling an appointment,¬†and basically being a “no-show” – highly penalised in my book, I am dead serious. There are thousands of ways: phone, email, facebook, whatsapp, twitter (or even excusing oneself through a third person, even though this is pretty iffy… but at least it’s something)

2) being extremely late and not excusing oneself. I am not talking about the socalled academic 15 minutes. I am talking about serious time here.

3) not answering one’s emails – also not really¬†courteous, respectful¬†or¬†nice… can be excused in some cases,¬†but basically is neither welcome nor promising either.

4) Being closed-minded. Being hard of hearing in a metaphorical sense. Be a good listener – it does make such a big difference as people generally¬†don’t want to listen anymore. They just want to tell things. The most challenging thing today seems to be to have an open ear for someone. I try it every day. And believe me, it is so rewarding. Whenever I do it, I feel I am being me, I learn sometimes something from doing it, and I get one step closer to being the kind of human being I aspire to be.

5) saying please and thank you in general… I feel terrible even having to write this down. But there are so many cases each and every day where I feel inclined to slap some people’s faces… and it just seems so normal to be impolite that you feel weird even being polite. And this is just soooo wrong… to me, this would go without saying that of course, you need to say thank you but there seems to be a tendency that some people might find this acceptable. I personally find this kind of thank you is very important as a motivation factor and therefore and also out of sheer courtesy ought to be said. However, society¬†as well as their benchmarks¬†are changing.

6) To be honest, truthful¬†and still be polite, this seems to be today a contradiction in terms as it is. Either people slap you in the face verbally or they suck up to you. But you rarely get a moment of truth which is even made sweeter by someone who is actually capable of serving you some truth in a polite and understandable form. This is such a dying species. Please don’t become extinct. It is so important to have true friends who will tell you things, important things and still be able to remain your friends because they might do it in such a way that you can actually learn from each other. This is something I totally miss these days. There are hardly any people around who combine both properties.

7) Be moderate. People tend to brag about themselves so much. Where is moderation and modesty gone? I sometimes don’t believe the exaggerations I tend to hear. Basically, this means that you need to reduce everything you hear by someone from outside your circles by a certain ratio. This is truly exhausting. Actually, you could even say… that lying is becoming trendy.

8) Being helpful. This is again a dying species in mankind. DO not always think first in the good someone else can do for you. Think first and foremost in the relation that you might be having with any given person. See the person. Do not see them directly as a competitor, as an enemy, as someone who might steal your show. This actually is so annoying.

9) Be respectful. I know there are a lot of moments when I lose my temper and I might also not be overly respectful to some people and I feel ashamed for it. But the mainstream of today’s world seems to be – the less respectful you are, the farther you get. This is bullshit. Try learning, try studying, try outsmarting people. That’s the way to go. And don’t think you’re better than someone else. First of all, it is all relative. Secondly, respect your fellow men. And thirdly, does it really matter?

10) Be kind. Kindness is something I am really missing big time in the new century. Kindness used to be all around. And the past 12 or thirteen years or so I have the feeling that kindness is often mistaken for weakness. As if kind people could not be strong… Or that tough people need to be unkind and therefore they show their real tough nature. This is so wrong. That’s again skindeep.

11) Don’t judge people. Who are you to judge someone else?

12)¬†Don’t insult or write¬†flame-mails to¬†people. I am serious. This is the worst. Things are somewhat seriously getting out of hand. It went that far that I did not want to open my email account but I can only say. There are¬†lessons to be learnt here. I don’t know which ones yet.

I am so not a preacher. And I don’t want to be one either.¬†But I needed to vent in this case. And be sure, I know, I am so not in the position to preach anyone either. I do a lot of wrong things my end, believe me. But, at least, I am aware of it and I try to mend, I try¬†to become better,¬†someone nice and someone¬†I would truly love to meet. If this¬†were the maxim, if this were the bottom line, then we all could not¬†go wrong. If we all became just a little the people we ourselves would love to meet in the street, at the school meeting, in the press conference, in the board meeting, at the music concert, at the gas station.

Little changes. If everyone does their bit, we all might get along better, and this little could go a long way.

 

 

I would really love to get feedback on this one here. How do you feel about the way that society is changing slowly into?

I am pretty stressed out right now.

The more I get to see and understand of what is going around in the world, the less I think I know. Or put in other words: the less I preferred I knew. It is nothing to be ashamed of to try to live life in a safe bubble.

With me, this safe bubble burst a long, a long time ago.

Getting back to topic. Stress… There is eu-stress and di-stress. Through each and every day, millions of neuronal connections are built up and we form new associations, learn languages, maybe it’s a chemical formula we need to learn by heart, maybe it’s your girlfriend’s telephone number and maybe, just maybe, you will say to yourself I wish myself back to those days when life used to be simple. Birthday party on Saturday, glittering stickers in my sticker album. Maybe¬†all the¬†different types of clouds that you can pass over your head while you lie on a hill¬†with your bare arms in the grass. Scratch! That tune is so old. And long gone. No need for any sugarglossing. The thing is today the moment you want to inform yourself you immediately gotta know that 95% of all messages, information, notes, news and ticker tid bits you receive are of a negative kind.

So… the result.¬†What do you reckon it might have? Yes… Snooze. That’s what most people do nowadays… They either become very very stressed out, hectic, superficial,¬†or simply ignore what they have sitting in their inbox. They cannot be bothered.

It is¬†quite a rare phenomenon that people actually are “a jour” with all what they receive on a daily basis. Do you¬†have an idea what this might cause?

Hmm…. Yes. I do. I could imagine that a disproportionate amount of emails is created by merely¬†ignoring half of the¬†emails sent out in the first place. To be honest, I am fine with it. I¬†don’t care. I really don’t… Anymore.¬†It is part of my job description to write emails and stuff, and it becomes a general kind of routine to wait for emails to arrive. Sadly, that is what happens.¬†I was always the one who had a head start, the one who is¬†keen to answer emails. Always the one who keeps their promises to call back, I am good on that, on¬†general¬†follow up. What annoys¬†me most, are those people who tell you… yeah, oh that email. Yeah, I¬†wanted to reply to that one, but then you sent me another one. Like it was¬†your fault you did not¬†get an answer.

Ok, I get it.

To be honest,¬†doing work, I can handle this. But privately, this gets¬†seriously on my¬†nerves. Why can’t people just have the decency and at least have the minimum¬†amount of respect¬†and courtesy and¬†simply answer.¬†Maybe just two sentences “I get back to you soon. Hang in there.”, “Please call me”, “I am in Alaska, don’t mail me again please”, or “I¬†am not interested”, “Get away from me.”,¬†“Tough shit.¬†Pucker up, dude” Whatever. It would at least be honest and it would save you the moments¬†where you torture yourself thinking all sorts of stuff.¬†Fantasizing about¬†why you did not get a reply. Asking yourself countless questions.¬†And so on, and so forth. It’s insane. And it is so avoidable. And nobody needs this. Really, they just don’t.

But certain manners have really become contagious in the 21st century. I really recall when in 1996 when I first had my email account with Compuserve, people would answer you as they were thrilled to receive such a weird thing called email. Now, it is mainly a tool of a power exchange.

No… Seriously. I know a couple of people who even though they have very little time, they will always try to answer their emails and be honest, be respectful and be like it was a true pen-pal kind of thing. Be sure that whoever writes me, will get a reply and I will answer in a way that matches the topic and also the style in which it is written. I can be serious, I can be hilarious. Whatever. But one thing will not happen. I won’t let a mail go unanswered. Because I was brought up to respect if someone took his / her time that they would really like an answer. Whoever feels I have struck a nerve with them, please give me a like. My self esteem right now is kind of hitting rock bottom. I could need that.

This insanity about not knowing if someone else got your message goes as far that sometimes, you are simply too well-behaved or maybe also too honest to refrain from writing yet another mail, cos you want to wait and see what happens, and the mail contact just kind of gets lost somehow. It fizzles out. So you put in a confirmation request, does not really seem to solve the problem.

That¬†has happened to me often enough. Sometimes voluntarily, sometimes¬†involuntarily.¬†I was the¬†lady in waiting. ¬†I was always very communicative though so I tended to be¬†the one who would pick¬†up the thread of conversation, again and again. It seems to be my fate that I am too¬†demanding in that respect maybe…. I want to know things. I want answers. I don’t know. Too demanding?¬†Am I really? If I am having a conversation, I don’t just walk away from someone… I just don’t. You don’t see me cutting off a conversation just like that.

So this basically stresses me out. It makes my head spin and I ask myself if the person in question really wants to communicate with me. Ok. Now you could say, that is your problem. Yes, it is. But it is not nice either, is it? And I am kind of sick and tired cos it seems to happening a lot more often and people feel a lot less concerned about if they make you wait or maybe even forget on the whole that they actually have something, an email or a document, whatever, that demands some kind of response. If I have the telephone number of that person, I might actually just give them a call cos nowadays I think some things can be sorted quickly that way. But on the other hand, I do tend to feel a little vengeful sometimes…

It hurts my sense of justice, my sense of proper behaviour, my sense of organic order I guess. I don’t mean the few really busy friends I have (and you know¬†who you are)¬†who always advice me in advance that they have little time and it will take them a little longer to reply. I really don’t mean you… How could I?¬†I mean only those ones who just seem to think that it does not matter whether you answer someone or not… It is just so rude and so bad mannered! I cannot believe that I am actually on a rant for non-existing email responses but it has been driving up the walls for a while now and it just goes to show that the world is changing.

My plea:¬†When you get a letter, you write back, when you get an email, you write an email back. Maybe, not everyone is as communicative as me, I can see that. But on the other hand, why cannot people get their heads around to at least responding to you. Even if they don’t have the time. They could at least make an effort to let you know that your email was received and maybe also read. It is such a simple gesture of faith and friendship. To just answer. What is wrong with that?

Communication behaviour has definitely changed in the past two decades. Not for the better I would say.

Communication is too easy. That is why it is so shallow, and in most cases really daft. Sorry to say so. But that is how I feel about it.

I once had a pen friend, a pen pal. She was actually from Leicester, UK. She had come to our school when I was 10 or so. Her name was Claire W.,¬†she wanted to study medicine. Another was my¬†year-long friend Ildik√≥. Ildik√≥ and I had met¬†through a¬†random encounter in London, sharing a multiple room. She was¬†on a year’s worth of world travelling,¬†something the Australians tend to do a lot once they are out of the university. She wanted to see the world before she would settle down and became a teacher.

Deep down, I am kind of a real loyal and trustful character. This sounds really corny coming from my own mouth, but I stick to my friends like nothing else. With Claire I wrote at least eight or nine years. We would probably still be writing each other if there had¬†not been a mistake in her address when she moved. Unfortunately, her surname is so common that it would be ridiculous to look for her since she moved to London. But you never know. ūüôā

With Ildik√≥, the Australian,¬†well, we are almost like joined at the hip, we¬†wrote each other for¬†19 years – starting 1993. Actually, it just kind of fizzled out recently… Which is a shame, but there you¬†go. I hope¬†she is well and maybe one day she picks¬†up where we left off¬†and get back to write emails again. That would very much be worth¬†it. Not just for old times’ sake.¬†ūüôā

When a pen pal friendship dies, this is actually pretty sad. You have shared a lot, in our case all our adolescent and young adult years. In Ildik√≥’s case, we even flew to Australia and travelled around her country back in 1998. We saw Sydney, New South Wales, the Three Sisters,¬†travelled up the gold coast and went to Cairns, Brisbane and Darwin. It was a magic trip.

What am I playing at? I remember the leap of heart, the plain kick I got out of receiving letters both from UK and from Australia. The smell of the paper, the cute little stamps that looked so different. The duration of days, of weeks¬†you would have in between letters. It sometimes took them¬†even a whole month¬†to arrive. Sometimes the stuff we had talked about would be not even important anymore… Here we both could wait. It¬†did¬†not seem to be any problem at all. But somehow, this was like a¬†long conversation which¬†I had with someone with whom I could talk and also share my views of the world, my hobbies and my likes and dislikes. Pretty much like Facebook really only way more personal and real… ūüėČ In between¬†the years of 1999 and 2012 we used both emails and snail mail letters to communicate. I would really¬†love to have a penpal friendship again. I am kind of old school that way. ūüôā

Fast forward to 2013. Now, we have twitter, we have facebook,¬†we have so many social media and platforms and we think we are so ultra modern. Are we really?… it seems¬†so antique¬†if you don’t have an account with all of them. So, since I don’t want to be a bystander but someone integrated in the brave new media society, not only have a facebook, twitter¬†account, but also zillions of other profiles of all the forums I used ever since 2000 roughly.

There are a handful of people who know me, maybe from school, from uni, maybe from my time in Germany, Ireland, or now Spain, Ibiza. Some of them from work, some of them would be private contacts. But… Can this be all? Can this be the best we can come up with, and I am¬†asking myself this really?

Has the level and also the depth of communication really increased or¬†was it just the¬†amount of time we spend with the gadgets that pretend to be communicative that has increased. Sometimes when a newsflash comes, you can bet on whose twitter account you will find it¬†first. Sometimes it is fun, sometimes it is informative, but come on, the majority¬†is really¬†superfluous.¬†And I am including myself in here as well. I fell into the same trap as everyone else. It was a nice toy. But to be honest, as soon as you notice there is something you cannot do because you have been too long on facebook or on twitter, that’s exactly the moment when you know… Ok. Time to change.

Whenever I “like” something on Facebook, I get the option to “share”, to spread all this information we would usually share with a handful of¬†friends,¬†mostly I tend to press this button. Maybe, because I am too easily triggered. Maybe I have a ludic side to myself? The thing is with my pressing this button, this news will appear in so many news tickers of my friends and acquaintances… And vice versa… I get too easily distracted. Facebook is a big big time thief. When you really want to get things done, there is no way that facebook is going to be your friend. Right… I now… I can switch off facebook any time I want. Granted.

But the quality of a penpal friendship cannot really be compared in any way with the social media of today. With a penpal, you can express yourself on a more personal and also more critical level. Chances are that the other person knows and understands you.

With Facebook it is often like someone writes something, tons of clicks, and let’s move on to the next… This is just too shallow. This is almost like it was not really even there… The actual time spent on digesting a facebook information is so quick, that I think that half of the information might even not be read properly… Guess what happens? Yes.,.. Most of the information is getting more and more visualized… Made easily digestable… Baby food for the brain… Eeeewwwww… Think about it.

Ten years from now on, I bet there are going to be some psychological conditions related to over-excessive use of the social media. Maybe even loss of the sense for reality. Who knows. Remember that the French Revolution ate its own children… Yes, that image does come to mind…

There is this¬†thing Einstein said once… about technology and the age of idiots…

I fear the day when the technology overlaps with our humanity. The world will have a generation of idiots.

This is a quote I fear that for my liking has reached a high degree of truth. When I was in Scotland, quite three weeks ago, I did not touch internet, emails, facebook (except for one day) for one whole month. It was so good for me. I so needed to be disconnected from everything else. It felt that I was so recharging my batteries. It was incredible. And my husband had dared me that I could not last the holidays. How wrong was he? ;)Everyone should do that once in a while. To be honest, I did not think that I was missing out on such a whole lot. Because there are still these haptic media, you know these little things you can fold up, and they have these pages inside, full with printed paper.

Ah, books, that’s the one. Thank you. Funny things, if you ask me.

Now… I am in a period where I need to really be careful that I am not burning myself out. I am aware of that. I have really quite a lot on my plate right now, there are deadlines looming, and there are new things I want to tackle as well. Ok, now you could tell me, why don’t you change the order of these things. Well, the truth is just:¬†I sooo cannot do that. These projects are somehow magically intertwined so there is not a snowball’s chance in hell I can let go of any of them.

So, basically, it’s do or die. Make or break. Touch and go.

This is how i feel. I would much rather go back in time and chose a period when life was just a little easier. A little slower. A little better organised. And a little less hectic.

The only thing I can do for myself, is try to cut down the (sometimes useless, sometimes useful) time I spend in front of the computer.

What was this claim again? There is yet another Einstein quote… It was about war. I did not look this one up but roughly it goes like this. Whichever weapons people would use in the third world war, Einstein predicted that the fourth world war would be a matter of stones and other primitive weapons…

People are on the verge of really eradicating themselves. And that to me does not sound like a joke at all. We need to seriously rethink our thinking and our living patterns. We don’t know how to eat, how to work, how to love, how to interact in a way that makes¬†us simply happy. We have distanced ourselves that much from a natural lifestyle that the answer can only be: get back to the most simple things in life.

– work: work what you can not what you want to work as

– eat: eat anything that grows¬†in the area where you live, make sure it has lots of vitamins¬†or if it’s convenience food make sure it is the least processed food you can come up with

– love: stick to¬†one favorite person. Makes life easier for all. ūüėČ

– interact: I am totally with Ockham’s razor. Say things in the least pompous and least complicated manner. You¬†want people to understand what you are saying. Don’t ya?

Can we learn something from heightened periods of stress?

Oh yes, I think we can.

Try to go easy with a lot of things. Try to go easy on yourself. No need to stick to the most perfectionist plan when you know that you have two kids, three jobs, virtually no free time, and things can happen out of the blue that can basically burst any kind of planning and any kind of time table.

The following three months are usually the worst ones of my whole year. This year, I have decided that I am going to tackle this differently.

I am going to try to be kind¬†to me. (this is a real challenge for me. I always treat myself like I was in a bootcamp, too little sleep, erratic food habits, weird attacks of exercise days interspersed with days spent in lethargy… )

I am going to try to give my body enough sleep, proper food and some relaxing walks. (especially and mainly it is sleep I am concerned with. This is something I need to take care of… the other two things are ok, almost where I want them to be)

Three months sound short but lived up in a manner that is unhealthy, three months can be quite long in fact… They can be actually quite crazy and there is only one person that can keep you sane in the eye of a maelstrom.

And that my dear friend, is you.

PS:

A lot of people talk about simplify your life. This term always makes me a tad aggressive.

Simple in terms of lifestyle? yeah, try again…

Simple in terms of being kind of really repetitive? I am not a hamster in a roll. I am human.

Simple in terms of being foreseeable? That’s what life is like.

Simple in terms of having the big picture just like that? That is something I would really like to have sometimes. But sometimes I just play it by hand.

The world has become more closely intertwined through all the new media. But has it really made people understand how to be more human? Or to be more understanding? More altruistic? Less egocentric? No. I don’t think so.

I believe we have reached the point where technology has overruled sense. And that, my dear reader, is not such a good thing in itself. Man’s capacity to understand the technology of his age proves vital in terms of making proper use of it. That is something the big financial crisis and also the big revolutions of the past 15 years go to show.

There is still the acute sense that people basically think that they need to have one certain territory. Unless you claim it, someone else damn well will do it. The immensely pronounced greed of criminal bankers had more than just a couple companies, banks, and let’s say it states go bankrupt. And we all we are able to say is… That is just a momentary cutback…. With all due respect, this is just a lot of bullshit. I mean who are we kidding? Things will pick up again. Come to think of it! How can things pick up again when there’s a) basically no middle class anymore, b) further education basically buys you a ticket to long-term slavery, exploitation¬†serving in¬†McJobs, or¬†become one in a million, becoming another nameless face¬†in the legions of unemployed people. c) there is no real hope. There simply is none.

No. Things won’t pick up. They don’t. At least, I don’t buy it.

Undo my argument. Prove me wrong. I would love to hear it and believe it.

But chances are there are some twenty years of hitting rock bottom in front of us.

I am stressed. Not just because of this.

The difference between eu-stress and di-stress is that with the first you push your hormonal levels in order to override your body’s signal that you’re in red-alert area, while in di-stress you probably won’t notice, until basically it will be too late. Either your body says Fuck you, or your mind says Fuck you. I am out of here.

I hope this is nothing that will happen with none of my readers nor me. Thanks for all the nice comments and likes you have given me so far. Please keep them coming in, I am very happy to receive your comments. I would really be interested in how you respond to that topic.

If you feel the same.

If your opinion is a totally opposed one.

Let me know.

And now…

Breathe. ūüôā Have a nice day. ūüėČ

PPS: This is something I found funny, I created¬†a little soundtrack to my blog entry. Yeah, I’m EMO, you get a wild mix. ūüėČ

Garbage – Only happy when it rains

Frida Gold РUnsere Liebe ist aus Gold (remix, official video)

Heaven 17 – Trouble

Die √Ąrzte – wie es geht

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